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Superman Arrested

Never Stop Trying!

This site is dedicated to everyone in the film industry who is doing whatever it takes to “make it” in this town.

These are the “Real Stories of Hollywood”…and some other random stuff we just throw in there.

If you have a story – we would love to hear it!  Click here to submit or click the “Add your story” button above.

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I Think I Love Booze – David Cassidy

…So apparently David Cassidy got stopped by police for failing to dim his headlights sometime after midnight on Wednesday morning in upstate New York.

So, I had a few road pops..This still isn’t as bad as Danny Bonaduce

So, I had a few road pops..This still isn’t as bad as Danny Bonaduce

As the story goes, when the police approached the car, Mr. Cassidy greeted the officer with “What’s new pussycat?” – which is an old Tom Jones song…  The officer then detected a whiff of alcohol and pulled him out the car and submitted a field sobriety test.  It seems that the test didn’t go very well and Mr. Cassidy got hit with a felony DWI – which of course sucks.  As it turns out, he already had one of those – issued by the State of Florida in Feb of 2011.

Here is the best part of the story – the arresting Officers name is Tom Jones – as in What’s new pussycat?  Come on!  How impaired could be possibly have been to have read the Officers name tag then have the mental fortitude to come up with that greeting on the spot?  Now in fairness, we haven’t seen the video of the arrest (if there is one) and the interaction might have been more like – “HEY YUR TOMSH JOOONES!  WASH NEW PRUSSY CAAHAT?  Or maybe just a blank stare that lasted a long and uncomfortable amount of time until he got his thoughts together then just blurted it out.  Regardless of how it all went down we still think he should get come consideration for creativity.

On Sept 4th he is scheduled to appear in court and make his plea to Honorable Judge Neil Diamond.

Do NOT Look the Monkey in the Eyes!

A few years back, I worked on a sit-com whose writing staff emerged from The Room late one night clutching a script that featured a subplot involving a monkey. For one scene, the writers decided this monkey should crawl from the Designated Actor’s arms up to his shoulders, then atop his head, where it would finally escape to a conveniently located prop tree.

All in the greater service of Art, you understand.

What doubtless seemed like a stroke of comedic brilliance during that long, late night made a rather awkward transition to reality a week later. Before the first on-set rehearsal, the animal wrangler cautioned the Designated Actor against making eye contact with the hairy primate.

“Do not look the monkey in the eyes,” she warned, before taking the creature out of its cage.

Easier said than done. When a monkey is only 18 inches high, even a brief glance in the general direction of the beast can be

Oh he is sooo cute…OMG! AAGHhhahagagaaahhh

interpreted by the simian brain as looking into its eyes. Sure enough, no sooner did the Designated Actor gingerly take the monkey into his arms than the little brute suddenly went ballistic – ape-shit, so to speak – baring a matched set of extremely sharp fangs while shrieking at the top of its lungs.

Work on the stage came to an abrupt halt, for this was a primal scream straight from the dark, pulsing heart of the jungle — a heart-stopping howl of prehistoric rage that sent a jolt of pure adrenaline directly into the crew’s collective Reptilian Brain, that most ancient and unevolved enclave of the human mind.

The poor actor was terrified, his face inches from an apparently deranged wild animal capable of doing horrendous, career-ending damage in a matter of seconds. Before any of the stunned crew could react, the wrangler grabbed the hairy little beast and stuffed it back in the cage.

Had I been that actor, I might have walked off the set, straight to my car, and never come back. Fuck the goddamned monkey – tell those writers to come up with another, less lethal gimmick, and send that crazy ape back to the jungle from whence it came. But the Designated Actor was made of sterner stuff. Rather than fly into a self-indulgent panic, he simply waited for the monkey to calm down, and once the wrangler gave the okay, went about rehearsing the scene until man and monkey got it right. I gained a world of respect for this particular actor that day – who subsequently led the cheer for weeks thereafter, in what became the catch-phrase for the show: “Do NOT look the monkey in the eyes!”

Generously submitted by:

MICHAEL TAYLOR

Please visit his site: “Blood, Sweat and Tedium: Confessions of a Hollywood Juicer” for the whole story and lots of other great posts.

Ex-Chimney Sweep Almost Goes Up In Smoke

In a cruel twist of irony, actor and legend Dick Van Dyke was rescued from his burning car yesterday afternoon by a passing motorist. Thankfully he was alright and even kept his sense of humor about the incident – he later tweeted “Used Jag for sale REAL CHEAP!!”

He is best known for his roles in film and T.V. shows like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and of course “Mary Poppins”.

Ironically he is also known for his series of Public Service Announcements for fire safety – “Learn Not To Burn”. For anyone old enough to remember the ’70’s and early 80’s, you will remember these popular PSA’s playing on television all the time. I don’t recall any of the TV spots recommending slumping over your steering wheel in the event of a car fire… I thought that tactic was to be used in the event of a bear attack.

Now someone PLEASE sign Paris Hilton, Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian to do a series of PSA’s that focus on Spontaneous Human Combustion.

Rapper gets bad rap

Working on a rapper’s movie, one day we all showed up to set and were getting the day started. Finally it was pretty much time to shoot and still no sign of the talent. He had a habit of rolling in a bit late, but when the producers called his manager they were told, “Oh, he flew to Texas to do a show.”

Yes, he left the state and nobody told the producers.

So we figure, ok, time to shoot pickups with the sidekicks and lesser characters, played by his posse of course. The manager says, “Oh, his boys went with him.”

Yes, he also took the supporting cast with him.

Now the other lead was not one of his boys and was a comic (and pain in the ass). We figure, ok, let’s call him to come in early and at least we can get his shots out of the way before lunch. Nope. Apparently he heard about the Texas trip and decided to fly to Ohio. I shit you not, our leads and supporting cast all left the state without telling anyone.

Now the payroll was coming out of the rapper’s pocket, so I guess he can do whatever he wants. That day I got paid to sit around and play Risk and Scrabble with the sound department and a grip. Finally after 8 they sent us home.

Other memorable events from that shoot include:

The supporting lead physically attacked one of the producers one day.

The posse overflowed the star trailer and started pissing in the street outside.

They also grabbed the second meal food and took it all into the star’s trailer. At this point the crew said, “Fuck you amateur assholes” and we started walking away. Have fun putting away all that expensive equipment out here in the hood in the middle of the night assholes. (The producers got another second meal and made sure the posse didn’t carry it off).

Moral of the story: Never work a rap movie. Sure the stories are funny, but only a decade later.

The Great Avatar Virus

I was one of the lead virtual cinema artists (I won’t explain, not necessary for the story) on Avatar and I’m sitting on a huge virtual stage (Howard Hughes before it became the YouTube studio) and I’m in one of the rows of computers behind Jim as he’s shooting.

We go for about an hour when one of the guys runs toward the direction of the bathroom and projectile vomits into a trash can because he couldn’t quite make it. I shrug it off, put my headphones to drown out all the stage sounds on and concentrate on work.

Two hours later, I check email and there’s this loooong thread of “going home sick” mails and I’m thinking WTF? I turn and notice the guy that sits next to me is gone and I turn around and Jim isn’t shooting. I go talk to the few guys nearby and apparently everyone started vomiting and getting sick, and JIm is in a back room lying down. Suddenly the animation director runs in and yells for everyone to go home. Someone found one of the assistant editors passed out in a hallway with throw-up all over herself. I go home thinking “YAY FREE DAY OFF!” A couple of hours later while I’m getting ready to go out clubbing I have this sudden need to run to the bathroom and…BOOM… I puke and crap myself simultaneously, almost didn’t make it.

Turns out it was norovirus. Something like 96 of us affected…out of 120.

– Anonymous