Chuck Norris Hates Children…

I wasn’t “in the industry” at the time but here is my story. ┬áChuck Norris.

You damn kids! Git off your lawn!

You damn kids! Git off your lawn!

When I was around 12 my family let Chuck and company film some episodes of his show on a famous piece of land we owned. During the filming the adults asked the producers to request one or two minutes for Chuck to meet my brother and I, both of whom were major Chuck Norris fans (who didn’t love Firewalker?!). He refused.

The producers were so mortified that they spent the rest of the day working more to get Chuck to say hello to a couple of children than filming the show. He continuously refused, emerging only to shoot scenes, then retreating immediately to his trailer. They tried to set up several opportunities for us – between scenes, before/after lunch, all of which Chuck adamantly blew off. At one point they were filming a scene near the main house and my brother and I were sitting on a balcony some fifty to eighty yards away watching, when the motherfucker actually stopped the scene to send someone over to ask us to go inside and not watch. He couldn’t take thirty seconds to say hello to us, but a ten minute break to send someone to keep the children from watching him act? No problem for old Chuck.

Finally, toward the end of the day, we asked them to at least convince Chuck to sign a couple of headshots or something for us. After all, he was a guest on our land, and we had bent over backwards all day to accommodate him and his crew. He again refused. Not even a fucking head shot. Not even an autograph. For fans aged around eight and twelve years old.

When it was all said and done they were asked to leave early, and outright barred from shooting there again. The only saving grace was Clarance Gilyard Jr., who was one of the single nicest people anyone in my family has ever had the pleasure of spending an afternoon with. He spent a lot of time apologizing for Chuck, as I recall…

If I ever get within pissing distance of Chuck Norris, bet your bottom dollar his feet are getting wet.

– Chuck Norris Made Me Cry

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