Be sure to floss too!

When I first came to LA I landed a PA job for a B-List director. I was pretty excited and jumped into the job with gusto (I was pretty naive). My enthusiasm soon faded when it was obvious that my job mainly consisted of being his personal errand boy and human punching bag.

dogbrushing

Making dinner reservations then getting angry calls about how much he “hated” the restaurant for whatever reason, driving around town running errands and picking things up and getting angry calls about how long it’s taking, screening calls, screening emails and setting up schedules were all pretty much daily events.

The lowest moment came at a private dinner party at his house. At this point I had been working for him for about 9 months. It was attended by about 15+ other Hollywood celebs, and executives. Dinner was served, interesting conversation and the wine was flowing and I was really enjoying myself. Apparently he detected that I was enjoying myself and that was clearly unacceptable. So in the middle of dinner he announces that I need to go brush his dogs teeth…RIGHT NOW. What? Up till that moment I wasn’t even aware that his dog had a tooth brush… What an asshole. My job search went into high gear immediately following that, I quit about a week later and thankfully went on to do much better things.

– Anonymous Producer

Awkward B-Day Reminder From Lindsay Lohan

It’s like a tweet out of a John Hughes movie…but with less heartwarming and more depression. Does anyone else envision Lindsay sitting alone in a dark room lighting and blowing out a single candle stuck in a stale cupcake over and over while singing an endless and creepy version of “happy birthday to me”?

Happy B-Day Lindsay! I don’t want to spoil it, but I think LA County is getting you a new ankle bracelet!

Oh..sorry do you celebrate birthdays in rehab? #awkward #uncomfortable

Oh..sorry do you celebrate birthdays in rehab? #awkward #uncomfortable

Toasted

FasterToast-300x300

At a recent commercial audition I was forced to listen to the casting director talk about how his 20yr son old enjoys doing Meth but only on the weekends. This painful story of his went on for the longest 10min of my life. All I kept thinking was, “Can I please pretend to be putting Oroweat Toast in a toaster over so I can get on with the rest of my day?” Finally we get to my “audition”. I put the imaginary toast into the oven and he tells me. “Great, but now do it a little more natural and quicker” Really, It’s toast asshole and this is how I fake put it in the oven. I do it again, and he says ” even faster” What I wanted to say was how about scoring me some of your son’s meth, I put that toast in super fast asshole! I did not get a call back, but I still eat toast.

– LA Actor